Never Easy
EDITED TO ADD: See additional information below
Yesterday, my dad was taken off of the sedation, and he was a bit more responsive. This was a bit of a mixed bag. There were no indications that he was in any pain, but my brother and I both agonized over the possibility of our dad being scared or anxious. We did our best to comfort and reassure him. I feel that he was awake enough to hear and understand.
We got allot of mixed signals from different doctors involved in his care over the past couple of months. I think this has more to do with their individual perceptions and approach to their job than facts. So many of them become hardwired to fix the immediate problem right in front of them, and easily loose site of the bigger picture. In my father's case, some of the doctors were more focused on getting my father past the current bleeding episode, than looking at the trend of the past 2 months. My dad had 4 major bleeding episodes that were getting progressively worse and more closely spaced. His body was just not accepting or healing properly from the surgery, and it wasn't going to.
My brother and I told the medical team to remove the respirator, and provide comfort care. We told my dad that he could rest now and that it was OK. About eight hours later, my father passed. It was peaceful, and he wasn't alone during any of the process.
Being at a smaller hospital, rather than the Cleveland Clinic, turned out to be a blessing in my opinion. Many thanks to the supportive ICU staff at St. John's Westshore Hospital. They made my father very comfortable, and went above and beyond to accommodate his family.
As difficult as this process has been, my brother and I were a team through it all. I couldn't be more grateful to be his little sister.
For those that knew Ed:
Per his wishes, there will not be any funeral services. There will be an informal memorial gathering to be announced at a later time. In lieu of flowers, donations maybe be made to the Ohio DNR Wildlife fund. Donations can also be made by U.S. mail, sent to:
Wildlife Central Office
2045 Morse Road, Bldg. G-1
Columbus, Ohio 43229-6693
Oh, Jenny, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know it was for the best and it was time and you made all the right decisions, but it's still very hard to loose someone we love. May you all be a peace now, he is. Again, I'm sorry.
You are in my thoughts. It was wonderful to see that you and your brother could work as a team in your dad's best interest. That isn't always the case.
Jenny and Ron,
We are so sorry for your loss. I know that you did what was best for him, and it is not always what we want for us. Honoring his wishes is the only thing to do. He was so very proud of both of you and you were great advocates for him always. Please call if you need anything...
Now he and Arlyn are really debating the political issues--he has to catch her up on all that has been happening.
Debbie
Dad was the finest man I ever knew and the best friend I could ever ask for. We will miss him immeasurably.In addition, he told me many times how lucky he felt to have Jenny for a daughter. I always agreed....now more than ever.
Thanks to all for the kind thoughts and concern through the past few months.
Ron
Jenny, I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts are with you!
Jenny, I am so so sorry for your loss. It has been 18 years for me, but I have literally been in your shoes. Just remember the good times and SMILE about them. Celebrate his life. You and yours are in my prayers.
Ron and Jenny,
I can't tell you how much your Dad loved you both-or how much I do too.
The two of you have been the pride of our lives. And that was a bond between your Dad and I that was strong beyond description.
I've been quietly following your blog for a long time, which gives me the artificial sense that I know you. My mother and I went through this with my father 27 years ago, and I have the care of my mother now. Please accept my sincere condolences on your father's passing. It is never easy, even when it is time. We've been sorting through some family memorabilia lately, and I find that my memories of the difficult days at the end of my father's life are now dim, especially compared to my memories of the rest of his life.
God bless you both. I agree with other commenters that the painful memories fade and the memories of good times and of the love and support you were able to provide him when he needed it most will always stay with you. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad he passed peacefully and surrounded by love.
Jenny, Ron and family:
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know his passing was made easier by the families decisions to make him comfortable. Time does heal all wounds, but you will need time. Remember the good times you had with your father. Go ahead and cry if you feel like it, it helps. God bless you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. I do feel you and your brother made a selfless, moral decision. Having been present at such events, I understand how heartbreaking it can be to say good-bye to a loved one. I admire your courage as I have admired so many in similar circumstances.
My prayers and thoughts are with you at this time.
marky
Jenny - You have been, and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am very sorry about your Dad. You Mom's note here made me cry; it is so beautiful. You were lucky to have such a good relationship with your Dad.
I love that photo of him, with the fish. How cool!
(((Hugs))) and more prayers for you and your brother.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't tell you how heart warming these comments have been. The level of support, prayers and well wishes sent our way through the recent months of my father's illness has been incredible. "Thank You" is all I can say, but it doesn't even come close to conveying my level of appreciation. HUGS!!
Jeni - I feel your loss, understand your struggles - having just been there with my mom and having buried her this May. Bob and I with my siblings and Mitch were with mom when she took her last breath. You being there with your dad was a gift not only to your Dad but you and your brother. Celebrate his life.
So sorry to hear you father passed?
Will you accept a cyber hug? ((Jenny))
No sad entry for me. I loved your Dad and he was a "great" guy. I'm sure he is in a good place because he truly was a nice guy and he will be rewarded for that. He was ALWAYS open and welcoming to Cathy and I and my family as well. He will be missed for sure, but never forgotten. I will keep the photo in your last blog as the way I want to remember my friend Eddie Ols, Strong, healthy, decked out in Cabelas garb from head to toe....with a nice catch in his hands....perfect!
Thank you Jennifer for your blog as it helped me put some closure to this and thank you Ronnie for sharing that link with me. You guys are great kids and a further testimony to the character of your Dad.
Peace,
Dale
Jenny, I just wanted to express my sympathy to you on the loss of your dear dad. Am so glad that you and your brother had each other and were able to be of one mind on what to do. What a great picture of your dad. It's obvious yours is a special family and that is such a lovely tribute to him.
Hugs and love to you,
Shari
Oh, I am so sorry about your dad, and his pup. I just stumbled on your site a week a go and am finally getting to read your blog.
I hope your dad is comfortable, he is very lucky to have you and your brother. God Bless.
I am terribly sorry to read of your loss. Losing a father is a difficult thing at any age. I'm glad that you have a brother to help you through it and to help through it.
Jenny, I was just stopping in to get an update on the red featherweight and read about your father's passing. I'm so sorry. As someone who went through much the same thing a little over a year ago I can identify with your situation. So good to have a stalwart brother to lean on.
I am sorry for the loss of your dad, I lost mine when he was 57. Your dads picture looks looks like he was a great outdoorsman. At 71 I still miss mine. May God be with you.